******** [entries|friends|calendar] chelle chelle one && two && three [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Wednesday 3:38pm September 23rd] totally updating twice in a day but i need to know: is it weird that i don't like this dog that much? (i say "this dog" because i decided i didn't like the name lapochka in actual practice, but haven't decided on a new name yet, and mostly just call her "little girl.") she's cute, pretty good at peeing outside already, excellent at walking (i heard this was impossible to do with young puppies, but she learned soo quick), a really soft lap-sleeper ... she's generally a bit better behaved than i expected a young puppy to be, though one of us does have to sleep on the floor to keep her quiet at night. i don't really mind any of the chores that come with having a dog. i have plenty of patience and sweet-talk her and cuddle her. she bounds after me when we go outside and licks my face. all this stuff is good, right? but i just don't feel that attached. and something about her almost kind of creeps me out. and the kitties don't like her (an unexpected source of stress for me; my kitties are way more important to me than they should be to anyone but an aging woman who lives alone, and i'm not happy when they're not happy). and somehow she totally makes me cry for no reason. i don't dislike her in any way that i can put my finger on. she's great on paper. why does having this dog depress the fuck out of me?? i like dogs! i've always liked dogs and all manner of other animals. i've had a dog before and loved the shit out of it. did i just use up all my pet-related love on cats? can that happen? have i secretly and against my wishes been converted into a cat person? wtf 6 ++ $!#%

[Wednesday 1:09pm September 23rd] i can't get myself motivated to get out of the house lately. i only want to see my boyfriend and cats, and maybe kinda this dog, and peer at the world suspiciously between blind slats. it may be due in part to the fact we got netflix AND gamefly. oops. part of the problem also must be my severe lack of funds. 3 ++ $!#%

[Monday 8:33am August 31st] the puppy's name is either vasya or lapochka. vasya just being a cool russian name; lapochka literally meaning "little paw" but used by russian people as something more like "cutiepie" or whatever else you'd call a really cute kid or your special lady. help?? chris and i are stuck. 11 ++ $!#%

[Saturday 1:03pm August 29th] CHECK THIS LITTLE FUZZBUTT OUT. she comes home oct. 1. name suggestions? 7 ++ $!#%

[Sunday 6:25pm August 2nd] everyone who told me going out wasn't THAT fun was lying. lying to make me feel better, i know, but totally lying. i love being stupid in public. $!#%

[Wednesday 7:12am July 22nd] i went on this awesome trip then came home to my awesome boyfriend. my brain shut down on the trip and hasn't yet reactivated. the end 2 ++ $!#%

[Friday 11:59pm June 26th] excerpt from an argument with harry about the transformers movie: me: "i'm not saying it was horrible. but three adjectives that come to mind are trite, contrived, and tacky" harry: "why do you have to use adjectives?" me: " ... because they describe things?" harry: "you don't have to get so technical" it really wasn't as bad as i'd been lead to believe, but it did kinda suck. soo sad because i soo wanted it to be so good. but the little bit of cheesiness that was kind of endearing in the first one was just exaggerated and distorted into b-level action-comedy kitsch. ehhh. one thing they had totally right is that they had the icky slut driving a 92 z28 while the heroine was on a bike. that's how it IS. 6 ++ $!#%

[Sunday 10:00pm June 14th] man i'm sorry i use this journal only to complain. here's some nicer stuff: found a better house today and jumped on it; i made the dean's list last semester; i am full of cookies 2 ++ $!#%

[Tuesday 2:58pm June 9th] two possibly boring, totally practical household items i'm unreasonably excited about: toilet cleaning gel stampers and a lidded, scent-filtered, swinging-door-ed cat litter box. i might actually use the twitter account i set up (xxxombi3) if someone else is doing it, too. i just signed up so i can find the kogi bbq taco truck when i go to LA next month! 3 ++ $!#%

[Friday 11:12am May 29th] to cheer myself up, POSITIVE reasons for being really excited about moving out: chris is awesome. we're getting a king sized bed. one of our future room mates has a bike, too, so we're pretty much gonna have our own motorcycle gang. we're getting a puppy. we might have a house with a pool! moving is fun. i'll have cheaper rent. i'll have a back yard. 4 ++ $!#%

[Monday 10:37pm May 11th] i'm not sure what to do by myself any more, and chris's (guess what? i hate the rule about when you do and don't need the s for possession on a name ending in s) construction job ensures i am alone more often than i'm used to being. i'm not absolutely weirded out by being alone anymore (thanks, kitties!), but i am kinda restless, unconquerably bored, and a little sad. essTREMEly bored. despite being surrounded with books, vidja games, art supplies, things to clean, uhh the great outdoors, etc. i just can't sit still and focus on anything. 2 ++ $!#%

[Wednesday 10:23pm April 29th] chris and i are looking at places together! i'm really fucking excited! i'll miss the place i'm in now--it's near perfect--and i may have to miss tempe, because we might be moving to phoenix or mesa, but having an apartment (or house, maybe, if we can find a roommate) with chris will rule. we're gonna find the perfect place and get a sectional couch and a king sized bed and maybe a puppy, all things i adore. (seriously, sectional couches and king sized beds kick ass.) i actually feel like chris is a guy i can stay with, that's going the same direction as i am, and, you know, if not, experience has taught me that moving in with a guy you're going to break up with is NOT a terrible idea and that everything will work out just fine. right? but seriously, he's awesome. i'm fairly awesome. that works out. lump stole my computer chair and he looks cozy in it so i'm just gonna end this here 1 ++ $!#%

[Wednesday 7:49pm April 8th] ok, so as much as i have detested, do detest, and will detest older ninjas i kind of love mine. it's a precious little baby and pretty fun to ride on. chris insists i'll outgrow it really soon, but i think i'll have to keep it around forever just as a keepsake at least ... let's see if it'll wheelie!!!! haha. i bought a really adorable white & pink jacket & a pearl white helmet. it doesn't go with my black bike, who the fuck cares? $!#%

[Sunday 4:02pm March 29th] saddest sad time i got kicked out of the motorcycle training class for wrecking about two minutes in to the first exercise on the second day. the trainer said something to me just as i rolled the throttle, i said what!? and let out the clutch all of a sudden (i'm dumb, easily startled, was a bundle of nerves, idk). and rather than just stall, the bike jumped forward THEN stalled. i didn't hurt myself or the bike very badly so i got up and rode over to the opposite side of the course, and the trainer over on that end took me aside and told me i couldn't ride any more because i shouldn't be having issues like that on the second day of training. i'm sooo sad. i know i can do this. i was doing okay yesterday. i was just really really anxious about the test at the end of the day and idk. i wasn't scared of the bike or getting hurt or anything but i just had this crazy performance anxiety ... it also just went kinda fast for me. we didn't spend long practicing any one thing til we moved on to the next thing. the only thing i got really confident with was shifting, because we did that one exercise FOREVER. i passed the written test, tho, so i can go get my permit. and spend forever learning on my own bike. 3 ++ $!#%

[Monday 10:37am March 23rd] having a boyfriend makes me feel girly. i've worn more dresses in the past week than i had in the previous year! and, i'm now looking at 600s to start riding on. don't care, didn't want a tiny bike, chris thinks i can (but i also think he won't let me ride without him for a long ass time). AND, i'm taking the motorcycle training course next weekend. AND, i'm waiting to see if BofA wants to give me $3000; if they don't, i'm gonna ask elsewhere. AND, i bought pokemon platinum yesterday. so what? 2 ++ $!#%

[Wednesday 9:42am February 25th] i'm buying a motorcycle. i have about $1500 towards it right now. only about $2500-3500 to go, wee i want a suzuki gsxr. of course. :/ like an '05. 6 ++ $!#%

[Thursday 8:34pm January 22nd] things i need to find good examples of in phoenix: bahn mi, soon dubu jjigae (w/ firm tofu and the scorched rice from the rice cooker things, pls), and tacos al pastor. 1 ++ $!#%

[Monday 4:33pm November 24th] the only pic that was taken. i know i look bad--i was makeupless, sleepy, and kinda high. and trying to drive. $!#%

[Saturday 12:30pm November 8th] i hate being expected to have an opinion on things i'm not qualified to have an opinion on. the economy? i'm not a goddamn economist. politics? the state of this country? global warming? any opinion i can offer about any of these things will just be based on whatever media i've absorbed, at best. i got off work early today! i'm gonna eat chicken nuggets, then clean my bathroom, then either start some homework or continue working through this stack of books & magazines by my bed. schoolwork keeps me at home a lot, but even if i didn't have so much i still wouldn't be social. i'm just not in the mood. i don't hate company, but i won't seek it or accept every offer of it. i'm not totally displeased with the weather outside (read: against all expectations, i'm happy that it's cooling down!?). i have some of the cutest text messages EVER in my phone. adorable. 5 ++ $!#%

[Thursday 8:46pm October 30th] pumped for: finally buying new tweezers. halloween party time. shoe shopping. state fair (beau will ride rides with me!). seeing darin (CRAZY PUMPED). lazing around `til study time on sunday. lazing around meaning playing fable and doing chores. fable fable fable fable fable and coffee with dana in an hour or so! not pumped for: monday's ridic history test. school tomorrow (though brief). getting fat after eating all this junk i ate while homeworking today? elliott's planned trip here. my lack of friends and oversaturation of dudes. cold weather. lack of cuddling during cold weather. having less money than expected to finish school. having to figure out grad school on my own. writing this fucking paper!!!!!!!!!!!!! $!#%

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